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I want to start off by saying my spiritual journey has been a long one. It started when I was a kid and went through children's religious education (CCD). I made my Confirmation but it never really meant anything other than my Monday evenings were free. No more CCD. I’ve been to numerous churches: Catholic and non-denominational, but I never wanted to stay. I stayed away from faith because it intimidated me. I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t think I would be accepted because I felt like a faker due to my lack of knowledge. I went through all the motions to become a member in the church but never really became a member. I wanted to grow in my faith but I always felt anxious and hit roadblocks.

One day, my coworker Kelly asked if I would be interested in checking out Alpha. I’ve never heard of it before and her husband invited my long-time friend Matt. I thought, “I've got nothing else better to do.” So I went. Let me tell you that it has been an incredible journey. From the first week I went from questioning “how can I know this is real?” to “how did I not know this before?” The following week mentioned the prodigal son where God is there to accept you with open arms no matter how or when you got to him. He’s so happy to have you, and each day I know Jesus is standing on the other side of the door and I’m letting him in moment by moment.

I was intimidated because of background and ignorance but I learned on the retreat that you don’t have to be clean or perfect to come to God. God and His only begotten son want to be part of the journey, and I found so much strength and courage in that. I was prayed over and had the Holy Spirit come to me in a song as I stood up from group prayer. Before Alpha, that would’ve freaked me out and I would’ve ran away. But I didn’t. I found so much comfort and ease. I’ve made great friends who have welcomed me with open arms through my Alpha journey.

I wish I could come back and do it again because I have grown so much. This is just the beginning. I’m looking forward to many more Masses, bible studies and outings that bring me closer with friends and God. I give all thanks to Alpha, Group 4, Louis for letting me share my story and God. My anxiety and fear have become excitement, wonder and the Holy Spirit.