Echoes from the Bell Tower

“The fifth step of humility is that a monk does not conceal from his abbot any sinful thoughts entering his heart, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confesses them humbly.”
Rule of Saint Benedict 7.44

The quote above is taken from an important chapter of the Rule, chapter 7, On Humility. In that chapter, St. Benedict summarizes the whole spiritual program of the monk using the image of a ladder that, resting on the earth (our life here) ascends to the “highest summit of humility” and the “exaltation of heaven”. We climb it by striving to cultivate humility in this present life. Everything worth attaining is worth working for – our “work” is to climb this ladder.

Apart from God’s assistance, true humility is not possible – our insecure ego will always get in the way. Each day provides ample opportunity to put into practice these precepts of humility, which also gives us plenty of chances to engage God’s grace by approaching difficult situations with an openness to others, a readiness to listen, to pursue what’s good for others rather than simply what’s good for me, to bend my personal preferences to the needs of the community, just to name a few of these precepts.

This fifth step on the ladder is an important one. To acknowledge one’s own sin is vital to developing a sense-of-self that is firmly rooted in truth – i.e. my being a child of God but also in need of God’s mercy. Since the abbot “holds the place of Christ in the community”, he stands in for Christ – our true shepherd. So, to confess our faults to our abbot, to reveal our sins and our bad thoughts to him, is like revealing them to Christ; it is a way for the monk to concretely entrust himself to Christ by seeking forgiveness and mercy from the superior.

Today, most monks do this using a “spiritual director” or a confessor (a priest that we regularly see to confess our sins to). For Catholic Christians, this practice is open to all the faithful as the “sacrament of reconciliation”, the parish priest is the usual “confessor”. Sometimes I need to “confess” a tendency I have to be judgmental, or short-tempered, or controlling, or whatever. Sometimes its not just sinful acts, but sinful “patterns of desire” that inhibit our growth in Christ.

Spiritual directors and confessors work with the person to better understand these harmful patterns of behavior and develop strategies for developing alternative patterns of behavior that are more loving, more compassionate, to be more like Christ for other people.

The process of “confessing” opens one up to acknowledging a need for healing and growth even as it nurtures a desire to grow and become more loving. This leads to greater freedom over time as grace works with us to shape us into Christ so we can choose charity rather than retribution, opt for a caring and gentle response over an aggressive or inappropriately assertive one that will only make a situation worse!

The freedom to choose a virtuous way of behaving is grounded in our truth – our humility – the reality of who we are as a child of God who, nonetheless, needs God’s grace and assistance. Each day we can work to cultivate a greater desire to bring goodness and hope to bear on whatever situation one finds oneself in – it takes practice but never give up. Mistakes will happen, admit them, learn from them, they can make us stronger provided we never give up!