We have all heard it said, or maybe we say it ourselves, that the world is getting crazier every day. We fear for the future, overwhelmed by the presence of evil that can seem so dark, powerful, and all-consuming at times. I myself have wrestled with this problem of evil. St. Augustine spent much of his life wrestling with the problem of evil. Why does God allow bad to happen to good people? It’s the question of our time.
I myself have questioned over the years: “Lord, why me? Why these sufferings in my life? Why is there division in my family? Why is there division in society? Why is there division in me?” It’s as if darkness pervades us, you, me, our Church, the world. It is so easy to despair rather than to hope, to focus on the restlessness of the heart rather than the call to rest in Him who brings true peace.
Reflecting on our time, where I am at now, what the Lord has done in the world, in my formation, I see there may be a glimmer. A shimmer of light. The small flame of a candle sitting before me in that red lamp. It brightens then dims, brightens then dims. The rhythm is soothing, just when I think it will go out, the flame grows and burns brighter still. This is hope.
I dare say this Jubilee Year of Hope is providential, if not for all, at least for me. In recent times, the Church has been scarred by division, scarred by the abuse crisis, scarred by a pandemic. It is easy to question, “Is the light going out?”
But there was a pope calling for hope; he died during the Easter season. A new pope arose, calling for love, for unity, for the heart of man to rest in Christ. Maybe the darkness, the desolation, is like the candle. This sanctuary lamp. Just when I think darkness will consume me, the Church, the world, I am reminded that He is here. The author of creation. Maybe the darkness is just a flicker reminding us how great the light is. No… maybe it’s to remind us WHO the light is. To trust, to hope in His promise: “I am with you always” (Mt. 28:20).
Caleb Goff, Seminarian, Diocese of Manchester